


Chandelier

by FanTitan



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, BABY JARED NEEDS LOVE, Crying, I am going to post this before I feel regret, I am not the best speller and I sincerely apologize, I wrote this instead of homework, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jared is Pansexual, LIFE AT REHAB IS ALRIGHT, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Peer Pressure, Rehabilitation, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Song fic, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Why Did I Write This?, connor is gay, evan is bisexual, slow burn?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-02-04 12:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12771513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanTitan/pseuds/FanTitan
Summary: Rehab au!Before Jared met Connor and Evan he was a mess. He was a party boy who didn't know when or how to stop. Every weekend was the same. A blur.When his parents finally draw the line, he is sent to a sober home in which he meets Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy who seem to make life at rehab alright.





	1. Party girls don't get hurt, can't feel anything when will I learn?

**Author's Note:**

> I DO NOT OWN THE DEAR EVAN HANSEN CHARACTERS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of it all

 

 

When Jared woke up that Saturday morning he had no idea where he was. 

 

He was in someone's house on their couch surrounded by other passed out people.

He groaned when he stood up and the sun shined in his face. He had a killer headache and was hella hungover. 

 

He searched around the couch for his phone. After moving a couple of pillows he discovered it. He unlocked it and discovered that he had 10 missed messages from his parents. 

  

_Shoot_

He thought.

 

He was going to die when he got home.

He managed to make it out of the house and tried to come up with an excuse to tell his parents.

None of them sounded convincing enough to fool them. He looked down the street and remembered that he had come with a friend to the party and did not have his car. his friend's car was nowhere in sight...He would have to walk home, even though it was about 6 miles away. 

 

As he walked he began to recall some events of the previous night.

He had shown up with a couple of friends and then had had a drink.

And then another.

And then another.

And then another.

And more after that.

 

He had no idea how much he had drank last night. He  _never_  knew. He knew that he needed to stop doing that but...it was hard not to. 

 

\------------------

"What were you thinking?" His mother yelled at him.  

"Out all night with no call telling us where you were?  Jared, we have been through this before." She crossed her arms over her chest. 

"You better have a good excuse Mr." His dad chimed in. 

He knew there was no point in lying. He knew that his parents already knew where he had been. He also knew that he was already caught before. 

"...."

 

"You were drinking again, weren't you?" His mother asked defeated.  When Jared didn't comment that was enough for his mom to tear up. Jared looked down at the mat below his feet with a glare.

They didn't get it.

Why would they?

 

 

"Jared, you remember what we all agreed on last time this happened, right?" His dad asked softly. 

Jared rolled his eyes. "More like what you two agreed on." His dad shot him a look that made him shut his mouth.

"You have a problem," His dad continued. "we agreed to look into rehab for you." Jared felt a strong sense of anger. "Why?" 

"Were worried about you." 

"Worried my ass." 

"Jared." His dad warned. "We suggest that you warm up to the idea. This is not a joke." Jared groaned and stopped up the stairs and into his room. 

 

_Sure._

He thought, slamming his bedroom door shut and collapsing onto his bed.

It wasn't like his parents cared anyways. They were never home. He rolled to his side and scoffed. Rehab. Yeah right.

 

_Like that's ever going to happen..._

 

\--------------------------------

 

The name of the rehab center was Sunshine Rainbow Rehab Center.

 

Yeah, pretty gay name. Not that Jared was complaining. It was the context of the place that made him mad. 

A couple weeks after "the incident" he found himself in the car on the way to rehab.

He was welcomed by a group of teens standing at the front of the house with smiles.

He was walked into the counselor's office with his mom and dad. The counselors went through a whole boring list of rules. He learned that he was not allowed to have his phone until the end of the week.

He was then, once again, abandoned by his parents after the papers where sighed and waited in the main "office"  until one of the counselors returned with a boy.

The boy had light brown hair and sparkly brown eyes.

 

"This is Evan, he is going to give you a tour of the house." Jared got up and joined the nervous looking boy out of the room. 

"S-s-so this is the kitchen," he said pointing to the left. "Attached to that is a dining room. We all take turns with who are making food and who is setting the table." Jared nodded but was too distracted on how cute this boy was. His lips looked so soft and kissable. Jared had known for a while that he was pan and he was not freaked out that he found this cute cinnamon roll guy attractive.

 

Evan continued the tour of the house and Jared found out that Curfue was at 9 pm and was very strict. He also found out that he was sharing a room with someone named Connor Murphy. 

 Once the tour was done, he soon found himself sitting in a circle with other teens. 

'"Alright everyone, let's go around and introduce ourselves. I would like us all to share our name, age, and an emotion you are currently feeling. Jared, would you mind starting us off?" the counselor asked. Jared shifted in his seat. 

"Hello my name is Jared Kleinman and I am 16 years old and I feel...mad."

"Mad?" Jared nodded but refused to comment further. Evan, who sat next to him, sensed that he was no longer going to speak so he started. 

"H-hello...m-m-my name is Evan Hansen, I am 17 and I feel...nervous. I guess...it is pretty normal to feel nervous around new people." He glanced at Jared and continued. "I--i-its not that I think you mean its j-j-just that well...i-its kind of m-m-my thing." He stuttered. 

 

_He is so cute_

Jared mused. The group continued to introduce themselves and Jared was only half listening. It wasn't until it came to a boy with long hair and dark clothing that Jared started to pay attention again. 

"Hello. My name is Connor Murphy. I am 16 and I feel tired." Jared began to ponder this. The councilor raised an eyebrow in confusion. "It was a long school day for me," he explained. Many people, including Jared, smiled. Jared found that he enjoyed his humor. 

 

Jared also recognized that he was the human he was sharing a room with and he was hot as hell. 

At the end of the day, he unpacked all his things with Connor staring at him the whole time. 

"So.." Jared found himself saying. "How long have you been here?" Connor gave him a small smile.

"2 Months."

"Cool." Connor looked him up and down. "Do you have any siblings?" Jared asked feeling as though things were a tad uncomfortable now. " I have a sister," Connor said pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. 

 

Jared could sense that Connor did not wish to say anything else so he ended that conversation.  "You're cute." 

"Huh?" Jared asked turning around from hanging things in his closet. 

"I said that your cute," Connor replied with a tone that Jared could not tell if he was serious or joking. 

"Thanks....." he responded with a raised eyebrow. He turned back around and continued to put his clothes away.

 

It wasn't until it was lights out did Jared realize that he was stuck there....with alcohol. With no phone..with no freedom. He groaned into his pillow with rage. 

 

This was going to be a long recovery. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are Welcomed! :D


	2. I push it down, push it down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared realizes things that he had never before known.

 

When Jared woke up the next morning he had had no idea where he was.

 

At first, he thought that he had been passed out on some strangers couch after another night of partying. Only when he had sat up did he realize that he was in a bed. He glanced around and saw that Connor was not in the room and that he had not woken up from his alarms since he did not have his phone.  _Great_

 He reluctantly got up and lazily pushed on his glasses and got dressed. He pulled on the first shirt, pair of pants, and flannel he found. He studied his reflection in the mirror and sighed.

 

He tried to fix his hair. Once he was done he looked over his appearance again. He let out a groan. It still didn't look right.

He changed his shirt 3 more times and 2 flannels and a hoodie until he was finally satisfied. In the end, he wore a " Big Hero 6" teeshirt and a  pastel purple hoodie.

He quickly made the bed and got his backpack together.  He then wondered downstairs where he found the rest of the residents of the house. 

 

 

He sat down across from Evan who looked ( in Jared's opinion)  too energetic for a Monday morning. Evan was wearing a blue flower crown with a blue polo and Jared found it cute. Connor sat a couple seats away in all black. His hair was tied up in a ponytail and looked so laid back. Jared began to wonder if the outfit he had settled on was stupid. 

 

 

He had gotten a ride with one if the houses counselor's to school with Connor and Evan. He was not surprised when he learned that Connor and Evan went to the same school he went to. He was usually with his own friends and too caught up in drama and didn't interact much with other people. 

 

 

He had gotten into the minivan with Evan and Connor. Evan sat shotgun and Connor sat next to him in the back. The counselor had introduced herself as someone but Jared had tuned her out. 

 

 

"So. Are we excited to go to school? " the counselor asked, clearly trying to start a friendly conversation. 

"Y-yeah. I have a presentation at s-s-school today so hopefully, it goes well. " Evan replied with a cheery smile.

The counselor seemed pleased at that answer. "You will do amazing Evan."  Evan beamed at her encouraging words. 

Jared wondered how an acholic could act as enthusiastic as Evan did. 

 

"And what about you Connor? You are auditioning for the musical today correct?" Jared glanced over at Connor who shrugged. "I want to but well, I don't think the directors would cast me." 

Jared never took Connor as a theater nerd. 

 

"Connor don't say that! You have an amazing voice." The counselor replied, trying to be comforting. Evan nodded in agreement from the front. " I-its t-true. You should hear his voice J-jared." Connor shrugged again and glared at Jared when he saw that he was staring at him. 

Jared quickly averted his gaze. He did not want to get in that guy's bad side. 

 

 

 

When the counselor dropped them off Evan had waved goodbye while Connor and Jared had stayed silent.

Connor and Evan laced their hands together and Jared took note of that. He entered the school with them but it quickly became clear that Connor and Evan had their own thing going on and Jared felt as though he were imposing on it. 

 

 

" Well...I'll see you losers later," Jared said heading in the opposite direction. "B-bye Jared!" Evan called after him with a smile. Connor simply waved. 

 

Jared didn't know why but, seeing Connor and Evan holding hands made him feel more stupid and uncomfortable. He found his friends who sure enough gave him a rant about how he didn't answer any of their texts. 

"What were you doing?" one of his friends had asked in announce.

" My mom and dad grounded me. They also decided to take my phone away for a week." Jared easily lied. 

 

"A week? Man, that sucks! Aw well..."  Jared merely shrugged. 

Throughout the day he had been asked the same question and had responded with the same fake answer. 

 

 Jared wondered how often he would end up lying to his friends now. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a reason Evan is OOC I promise that there is. This is also REALLY short but I plan on putting out the next chapter as soon as I can!  
> Also I just realized that all the DEH stories I have written somehow revolve around Jared. Well....he is my child so.... 
> 
> Thank you SO much for reading :)  
> Comments and Kudos are welcomed


	3. I'm one for a good time call, phones blowing up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared try's to find out more about Connor and Evan's past.  
> Also damn, Murphy can sing.

 

"Have any of you heard of Connor Murphy?" Jared asked. He was currently eating lunch at his usual lunch spot with his friends.  Jared had had spent the whole day trying to get information from other students about Connor and Evan. 

Sure he could have just asked them about themselves like a normal personn but, what was the point in that? Besides, ever since that morning when he had saw them together he had felt unexplainabley weird. 

 

"The ex druggy? He and his boyfriend used to sell, why?" One of his friends piped up. 

Jared raised an eyebrow at that. "No reason.." 

 ------

 

The rest of the day went quickly and Jared found himself waiting outside at the designated place where he was getting picked up by a counselor. He stood there for a while waiting as other students left school. 

It wasn't long before he found himself alone. He (by reflex) searched in his shirt pocket. That was where he usually kept his phone, only to remember that it was gone. Taken away.

He groaned. He looked around again.

This was the place for pickup, he was sure of it. This was so annoying. He wished he could have his phone. 

He wished he could go home. 

No.

No he didn't. He didn't want to go back home and see the fake concern from his parents. They always had hated him and they were the reason he was stuck in rehab and forced into situations such as this one. 

He let out a shaky sigh and wondered if he should head back inside and see if he could use the Offices phone. 

 

"J-Jared?" 

 

Jared turned around and saw Evan standing next to him. He had been zoning out and had not noticed that Evan had shown up magically beside him. 

"A-are you o-okay?" 

Jared plastered on a smile. "Never better Ev! Do you know where we are supposed to be picked up?"

Jared wondered if Evan could see through his fakeness, but again, he had barely known him for a day. 

 

"Y-yeah. In a couple of hours h-here. Mrs. Katy wanted y-you and m-me to stay and s-support Connor during his 1st r-round of a-auditions." 

Jared was confused by this. He remembered that the counselor (who he guessed was the "Mrs.Katy" of whom Evan spoke of ) mentioning something about auditions with Connor that morning. 

"And why didn't I know about this?" Jared asked, wondering if Evan was messing with him.

 

"I-I got her text during last period. Y-You still don't have your p-phone so you didn't know. I-I tried to f-find you after the bell r-rang and well...I found you know..so.." 

 

Jared continued to smile brightly. "Okay cool! Let's go!" he casually patted Evans' shoulder and Evan looked taken aback from his gesture but began to lead him back into the school.  

 

\---------------------------------

 

 Once inside the auditorium, Jared saw a bunch of student on the stage gong though vocal drills. Connor was among those students. He and Evan slipped into seats in the back and watched silently as the students finished up vocal warmups. 

"Day one is vocal auditions. Day two is dancing auditions. And day three is acting auditions. If you want to try out for a named role you need to attend all three auditions. " The teacher announced a little after Evan and Jared were settled in their seats.

 

After that, everyone began to do vocal warm-ups. 

"So...what is the musical anyways?" Jared asked in a whisper to Evan. 

"I-it's Oliver! " Evan responded in also a whisper. 

 

Jared glanced back up at the stage. That was one of the only musicals he had heard of and had ever seen. Although, he didn't remember anything. 

The director began to have each student go up and hand the pianist their sheet music and sing. It appeared as though the director had split everyone into even groups and each person came from the other group every other time.

 

Jared watched as some amazing, cringey, and okay singers sang. 

And it wasn't long before Connor was the one next to audition. 

 

Connor walked over the pianist and handed her his sheet music. He then walked to the middle of the stage.

Jared noticed that some people were whispering behind Connor. Clearly mocking him.

Jared glared at them and then turned to Evan who had his figures crossed.

 The moment Connor opened his mouth it was quickly apparent that Connor had a voice of an angel.

He sang beautifully and clearly had control over his voice, as well as a great stage presence. Jared felt captivated by Connors voice. 

 

When Connor finished, he and Evan made a point to cheer loudly. 

Connor looked around until his eyes settled on them. Jared noticed the slight blush on his face when he saw them and Jared smiled lightly. 

 

The auditions continued and were finished after another 30 minutes. 

When he and Evan saw Connor, Evan had immediately pulled Connor into a kiss and told him about how amazing he was.

"Wow Murphy, I didn't know you had pipes like that! " Jared exclaimed with a smile. " Your my friend, are so talented!" 

Connor smiled, clearly with pride. "Thanks."

 

The three of them made it back to the place that Jared had been previously waiting and saw that this time, the counselor was there waiting in her car. 

They all began to approach the car until, "Jared?" 

Jared turned to his left and saw one of his friends staring at him in confusion. " What are you doing with..those two?" he asked. 

Jared felt his blood run cold. "Nothing. Talk to you later." Jared said in fake confidence filled voice. 

All three of them sat in the same seats that they had been sitting in on their way to school. Jared refused it meet both Connor and Evan's eyes. He felt ashamed to have been seen with them. 

 

\---------

 

"So, you didn't tell them yet huh? " Jared looked up from his homework and saw that Connor had entered their room. 

"No. Why? What's it to you?" Jared asked defensively. 

"I um...I get it Kleinman. I know you must feel ashamed and nervous to tell your friends and it's just, well...it's okay to talk to people Jared. "

Jared looked back down at his homework. 

"And um...you always can talk to me or anyone here. Look, none of us want to be here. This isn't an ideal situation but, we're here for each other Jared. Like how you and Evan were for me today. I was too nervous to audition but when I was done singing and had you and Evan cheering for me...it meant the world to me." 

 

Jared but his lip. " Okay. Thank you."

Connor sighed, probably thinking that his words had meant nothing to him. 

Connor turned, about to leave the room when Jared spoke up. 

"You know..I am hopeful that you are a good actor and dancer as well because well...You are the most talented person there and it would be a shame if you weren't." Connors footsteps stopped. 

"And, I look forward to seeing your next auditions Murphy, I am sure that they will blow me away." 

"Thanks, Kleinman. "

 

Wow, did he seriously just have a heart to heart with Connor?

 

Things just kept getting weirder and weirder...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this was not up sooner.  
> I had to re start in writing this since it got deleted on accident and I had a major writers block and had no idea of where I was taking this story.  
> But, that is gone for now. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.  
> Comments and Kudos are welcomed :)


	4. Ringing my doorbell I feel the love. I feel the love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get harder for Jared and he realizes that he may have deeper feelings than he previously had thought to have had.

 

 

The next morning Jared had woken up on time. Thankfully Connor had woken him up that morning on Jared's request.

Jared had once again while the way to school, Jared had sat in the back of Mrs. Katy's car with Connor next to him and Evan shotgun. Mrs. Katy was once again very chatty and thankfully so was Evan.

He was once again going to stay after school again with Evan to watch part two of Connor's audition process. Dancing auditions. 

 

While in the car, Evan had explained to him that the director and the choreographer We're going to show a section of one of the dance numbers from the show and everyone auditioning had to go up in different assigned groups and perform the section as their audition.

Jared had never really realized how complex theater was.

 

After Evan had cheerfully waved goodbye to the counselor, Jared bid him and Connor farewell. 

 

\----------------------------------

At lunch when he sat down at the usual table he has been quickly questioned by his friends. 

 

"What were you doing with Murphy and Hansen yesterday! You know they don't sell anymore right?" one of his friends, Via asked him accusingly. 

"Yes. I am well aware." Jared replied taking a bit out of his cafeteria food.

 

"Then what were you doing? Mike told us that he saw you with them yesterday. They go to rehab for pete's sake!" 

 

Jared had no idea what to say. He had planned to hide the fact that he was at rehab from his friends but he was already being quickly found out. And on day three none the less! 

 

"Wait, are you-" Jared quickly cut Sam off, knowing that he was about to guess correctly. 

 

"It's whatever guys.  I Don't know why you're making this such a big deal." Jared said trying to shake it off.

 

Via narrowed her eyes clearly not convinced. "You know what I think? I think that you are lying. I also think that....you go to rehab too. I saw you come to school today with them."

Jared's blood ran cold. 

_Shit_

 

Before he could deny it, another one of his friends piped up. "Whoa, Kleinman! You're a druggy?"

"No I'm not!" Jared growled shoving another spoonful of food into his mouth. 

 

"Then prove it." Via said taking out a little plastic baggy with a single pill from her backpack.

"Prove that you aren't lying." She slid the baggy across the table to him.

 

She also slid her unopened water bottle to him, which caught the table's attention. Jared looked around and saw that the whole friend groups eyes were glued on him.

 

He shakily picked up the bag from the table and felt his heart beat loudly in his ears. He slowly opened the bag, his mind racing. 

_How do I get out of this?_

 

He slowly dropped the pill onto his hand and opened the water bottle. What was he even doing? 

" No," Jared said dropping the pill back into the bag.

" No?" Via asked in confusion. 

No way was he going to use after day three of being clean. No way was he going to do that under some dumb peer pressure. 

"No," Jared repeated. " I have nothing to prove to any of you. " he picked up his bag and lunch tray. He walked away from the table and scanned the cafeteria for Connor and Evan. 

 

He found them at a table across from two girls. One literally a better dressed and less emo female Connor Murphy. The other was Alana the student council president. He had instantly recognized Alana. It was strange to see her with Connor and Evan. 

 

He took a deep breath and plastered a smile on his face before he approached the table. 

"Hey, Murphy! Hansen! I was wondering if you would let lil old me sit here with you guys." he said with a smile. 

Evan was the first to respond. "O-Of course you can." Jared plopped down next to Evan. 

 

"J-Jared this is Alana and Z-Zoe. They are such a c-cute couple! Oh! Z-Zoe is also Connor sister." Jared smiled brightly at them and shook Zoe's hand.

 

"And um.." Connor piped up, " Jared recently came to Sunshine Rainbow rehab center a couple of days ago and he is less of a jerk as he appears to be."

"AWW, Con! I didn't know you were capable of being nice!" Jared snorted as he shook Alana's hand. Connor merely rolled his eyes. 

 

 

 --------------------------

 

The rest of lunch had gone by pleasantly. Jared found that Zoe was super nice and they seemed to hit it off well. 

During the remainder of the day Jared's friend's had informed him and he had ignored them. it wasn't long before Jared found himself in the back of the auditorium next to Evan. They were quietly talking since other groups that Connor wasn't in were auditioning

"And then I looked for you and Connor and then I found you two."  Jared had just been telling Evan about the beginning of his lunch period and Evan was being super nice about it. 

 

"I-I'm sorry.They didn't really s-sound like l f-friends. B-but h-hey! You have m-me and Connor! W-where your f-friends right?" 

"Right." Jared replied, giving Evan one of his honest smiles.

When Jared saw Connor dance later that day, he was not surprised to see that Connor was good at that as well. When his group had finished the routine Jared and Evan had cheered for him, obnoxiously. 

 

\--------------------

In the way back to the house they had spent the car ride joking around with one another.  

During group therapy, Jared had shared how happy he felt now that he had two new friends of whom he knew had his back. He had even shared that he left his pasted friends behind, and how it was 100% worth it. He did, however, leave the whole part with Via out of it. 

 

That night, all three of them watched anime in the houses living room. It was nice. Jared had tried to pay attention to the show but kept glancing over at Connor and Evan across the couch from him, were they were snuggled up together. Jared felt envious of both of them. For some weird reason, he felt mad.

 

Why did they need to be CONSTANTLY doing PDA all the time? 

 

Jared had been so bothered by them that he had called it a night early and headed to bed.

As he lay in his bed he began to ponder his uncomfortableness. 

He had thought that maybe he had just been jealous due to himself wanting a boyfriend but that wasn't it. After much thought, alone in his room, he came to a scary but true conclusion. 

 

He liked Evan. And he liked Connor. He liked both of them and wanted to be dating  _both_ of them. 

 

How selfish was he? 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are welcomed :D


	5. 123 123 drink 123 123 drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared wants to feel normal again.

 

 

At school the next day Jared mostly hanged around Evan, Connor and their friends. Seeing at his friends wouldn't talk to him. It wasn't too bad. Alana and Zoe were both super sweet and it refreshing to talk about something other than alcohol and rehab. 

He also found Evan to be very sweet and caring and Connor to be sassy and considerate. 

Funny huh?

 

The end of the week came too fast for Jared and on the way to Rehab Friday night, Connor was practically bouncing with nervous energy. The auditions were over and the cast list would be posted sometime during the weekend on the school's website. Connor had opened a lot more and consequently, so did Jared. Since the week was over he would finally be reunited with his phone.

Sure enough, the head counselor gave Jared back his phone after they showed up at the house. He happily reunited with it.  He went up to the room he and Connor shared and unlocked his phone. He was greeted with a background picture of a pansexual flag. He was also greeted with lots of texts. Even ones from his mom.

Instead of reading the text Jared sent them all to trash. He then saw a new text sent out that day from one of his friends. 

 

**From: Zane**

**Hey! I know that you have been hanging out with Hansen and Murphy and it is honestly not anyone's right to judge you or assume anything. You do you dude. I wanted to invite you to my party tonight. My parents are out of town and everyone wants to live it up! I know that your upset but I think you should come, it will be a lot of fun :D what do you say?**

 

 

Jared felt a smile grow on his face. He knew he would not be able to drink but he still wanted to go. What would be the harm anyway?

 

**From: Jared**

**Will be there! Thank you for the invite ^_^**

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jared had somehow managed to convince the counselors of the house to let him go to his "Best friends birthday party" on the condition of Connor and Evan coming with them.  Connor had also been given permission to drive them all there. 

"I didn't know you had any friends," Connor said while he watched Jared get ready.  Jared rolled his eyes, getting really annoyed. Connor had unknowingly touched one of Jared's more sensitive feelings he had been feeling all that week. 

"And I didn't know that you and Evan sold drugs." He shot back while pulling out another sweater.  He saw Connor crinkle his nose in annoyance threw the mirror.  "What? Did I touch a nerve?"

The silence the followed immediately let Jared know, he had fucked up. Jared quickly felt a crushing amount of guilt fall on him. 

" Connor I didn't mean to-"

 " No, it's okay," Connor said cutting Jared off. " Just hurry up so we can leave." Connor stood up and left the room leaving Jared alone. 

_fuck_

 

When the three of them made it to the car Jared sat in the front with Connor.  Jared felt like a third wheel even though he knew that he was sitting in the front. It was even more awkward tension in the car then there had been previously with Connor. The awkward silence had been quickly broken by Evan (who clearly didn't know anything about what had occurred in Jared and Connor's room. )

Evan had told them the story of how he met Connor which was such a cliché. He and Connor had crashed (quite literally) into each other. The impact had made all of Connor's things go flying. Evan had helped pick up his things and they both had been on their way. It was cute to hear about how Evan had thought about Connor that whole week and to see Connor blush at that. 

 

It was also funny to hear that it happened again the next week. Connor insisted that he get Evans number and Evan had agreed. The rest was as he said, history.  Jared had a feeling that Evan was keeping a part of the story out though.

When they pulled up to Zane's house it was blasting with music and chatter. Jared saw the looks of horror on Connor and Evan's faces before he quickly popped out of the car. Connor and Evan followed after him. 

 

"You've been lying to us, haven't you?" Evan called out, his voice had a different tone then Jared had ever heard before. It was a dead tone. Jared stopped in his tracks and faced them. " This isn't really your best friend's birthday party, is it? Jared, do you  _know_ what could happen here? You just got into rehab, YOU COULD MESS UP YOUR SOBRIETY!"Evan was practically screaming at that point. He was in so much rage and he hadn't even stuttered once.

And that scared Jared. 

 

"Okay so it's not a birthday party but, he is my friend just not my  _best_ friend. But, nothing's going to happen. I know how to control myself." Jared replied calmly. He tried not to have a shaky voice when he said this, honestly, he was freaked out that Evan was yelling. Up till that point, he hadn't even known that Evan could raise his voice above his usual one. 

Connor placed a hand on Evan's shoulder, trying to calm Evan down. "Evan, we can look out for him. That's why they sent us with him. They knew that he was most likely lying.We can keep an eye on him and-" 

"Are you serious right now Connor? How could you say that this is okay? This is a high school party Connor, it is filled with drugs and alcohol. Do you know what will happen if things go south? We'll all be in  _big_ trouble. He is risking _our_ sobriety!" Evan was shaking with anger, he seemed more pissed off at Connor than he was with Jared. 

" Evan, we can leave if you want."

"Yes, that is what I want." 

Connor looked at Jared nervously before he continued. " Jared, we are going to head out. Meaning that you will be alone. I am going to give you my number and the  _second_ that you need help or need to leave or can't handle it anymore, call or text me. We will be here within 5 minutes. I want to trust you, Jared. You can do this. Calling me is not defeat. It is, if anything, making you win." Connor added his phone number to Jard's contacts and handed the phone to Jared when he was done. 

 

 

 

"Goodbye, Jared. Stay safe." Connor and Evan went back into the car and drove off. 

 

"Goodbye." He muttered as the car faded away. He turned back to the house and took a breath. It was going to be fine. He was sure that well...

 

 

Nothing was going to happen.  Hopefully...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are Welcomed :D


	6. Throw them back till I lose count

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared did make a stupid decision .....  
> Also Connor and Evan tell Jared about their past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is late!!!!  
> Happy (belated) Valentines day!  
> Also, trigger warning for Jared's self hatred.

 

 

Jared knew that his parents hated him. I was just that simple. 

 

Growing up they were never present. They always left him at home while they went out for work or an event with a babysitter. Jared had known from a young age not to expect their attention. What made Jared more mad about it was that when they were home they acted as though they had the right to know everything about him. As though they had the right for him to tell them everything about his life, something they were _never_ there for.  

 

Jared had always been a smart kid.

He pushed himself and always made it to the top of his class. From Kindergarten till 7th grade he had no friends, him being loud-mouthed and a smart ass and all. He didn't get much attention at all. When he went to high school he was determined to change all of that.

 

When he started going to the high school that he was currently in,(when he was 15 and in a new town) Jared had been determined to make friends. Determined to start fresh.

It wasn't long into his freshman year when he fell into the group he had previously been a part of.  It hadn't been hard. His parents were never home and left him alone at home without a babysitter anymore so sneaking out was easy. His parents also never locked the liquor cabinet and he was never caught.

Until the night he was. That was how he ended up there. At a stupid party. 

 

 

 He had only been there for 5 minutes when he realized how big of a mistake he had made.  

Every turn of the house was filled with temptation. Shouting and music filled the air. Before it had been refreshing for Jared but now it was awful. 

He had made his way through the house and passed groups of people ignoring them when they offered him a drink or a hit. Jared felt really uncomfortable and awkward.

It wasn't long until Jared pulled up Connor's name on his phone. His finger hovered over the phone icon next to Connor's name. 

_Do I really want to do this?_

 

Taking a breath, Jared talked himself into holding on a little longer. 

High School Party's while sober we're pointless. But he still tried to enjoy what he could.

He heard a lot of gossip from a group of people in the corner of the room and found it rather boring. After a while, he pulled out his phone and saw that it was 11:46. He gave up. 

 

He found his way upstairs and came across a group of people loudly laughing. "He is such a freak. Amanda told me that he didn't even accept a drink! Ha! Can you believe it?"

The people surrounding laughed. Jared found himself slowing down in pace.

 

" Yeah!" another person piped up.

" How much you wanna bet that he's also in rehab with those other losers?"

Jared froze in place. They were talking about him.

He stood there, numb as they continued to say rude remakes about him. If they knew he was there they showed no signs of caring.

 

" He's such a loser. He never stops talking. Who does he even think he is?"

" Yeah. He probably just wants attention and that's why he was making a scene the other day." 

" Yeah, your right. He's just needy for attention." 

 

He couldn't take it.

He found an empty bedroom and stumbled in, no longer keeping his embarrassment in. He sat on the bed and felt his heart racing. He could hear the thudding in his ears.

He just ugly cried?

He let all his inner battled and emotions build up and release through his tears. 

 

After a while, he slightly composed himself and he took out his phone, tears cascading down his face. He needed to get out of this house.

After 2 rings the phone was picked up.

 

"Jared?"

" I'm ready to go." Jared barely forced out. 

 

Jared was sure that Connor would be able to tell he was crying, his voice was still shaking and stuffy.

"Okay. Can you hold on for 5 more minutes?" 

"Yeah."

" Alright, Evan and I will be there soon. Meet us outside. "

"Okay."

 

Jared hung up and rubbed his eyes. He was grateful that Connor had not brought up the fact that he was obviously crying. 

He went over to a dresser that was placed in the room he was currently in and studied his appearance in the mirror that was placed above it.

The longer he stared, the more he hated himself. He was ugly and fat and worthless. 

 

He couldn't help but agree with everything that those people in the hall had been saying. He made his way out of the bedroom and made his way downstairs and passed loud, drunk teens.

He found himself outside to where it was raining hard

 He didn't see Connors car anywhere so, he sat on the lawn making sure that is eyes were no longer red. 

It wasn't long until Connors car pulled up to the house and Jared jumped into the backseat. 

 

They drove silently, the only noise being the radio. 

" You didn't drink or smoke or anything right?" Connor asked. 

Jared shook his head, gazing out the window, admiring how the rain landed on the window.

Connor nodded as well and directed his gaze to the road ahead. Evan use sat there with his arms crossed. 

The tension was so thick Jared was sure that he could cut it with a knife. 

 

He was surprised when Connor pulled into a McDonald's drive-through. Once they all ordered, Jared had insisted on paying, feeling guilty that he had dragged the other two into his mess.

 

When they all got their food, Jared happily began to devour his food, not realizing how hungry he had been until right then. 

They ate in the car. 

The car was parked in a nearly empty parking lot. They all ate in silence until Evan broke it. 

 

" In f-freshman year, I w-was not at a-all in a good h-headspace. I-I was v-very self-destructive and m-more, a lot m-more anxious than I-I am now. M-my mom, she um....she was never r-really home. S-she did want t-to help me out t-though so she got me a-anxiety m-medication." 

Connor turned off the radio while Evan was talking and had pulled his hair up into a bun.

Evan shoved fries into his mouth and spoke again once he had swallowed. 

 

" I-I kept taking them w-way more than I was s-supposed to and umm... I became really addicted." 

Thunder crashed in the distance, therein continued to pour down harshly. 

 

" I met C-Connor and, w-well he was t-the only person willing to listen t-to me and care a-about what I thought a-and said. W-whiling to return my feelings." 

 

Jared looked at Evan and saw that he was snapping a rubber band around his wrist in a steady beat. 

" We both, e-encouraged one a-another to the p-point where w-we were so far gone."

Jared realized the Evan was tearing up. Evan whipped his eyes and took a shuttering breath. He then picked up the story again.

 

"W-we though it would have b-been a grand I-idea to sell drugs and g-get money from it and....we each got more a-addicted and...I-it was horrible."

Connor reached out and took Evan's hand in his, giving Evan a squeeze of encouragement to continue. 

 

" It was C-Connors mom who f-found out everything first. S-she wanted the school to d-do a locker check and the s-schools security found a lot of the stash. S-she also found things that l-linked me to w-what was found as well and m-my mom consented in my l-locker search. When they looked they f-found the rest o-of it. "

 

Evan stopped sapping the band around his wrist and took a sip of his drink.

 

" We both were sent to rehab and well...I h-have been doing a lot b-better since. I um, got a more p-positive outlook on l-life and I guess that's why I'm so..s-sunny now. "

 

Jared bit his lip and realized that Connor had most serenely told Evan about their fight.

 

"Evan I...I didn't mean-"

"No, it's okay. I mean, y-you were bounded to f-find out s-somehow. Just..."

"Just know that we had a nasty past and we try to put it behind us but well...it was known through our high school so, it's never going away." Connor finished. 

 

"Thank you for telling me. Connor, I didn't mean to be such a jerk I'm sorry. That was a real asshole move on my part."

Connor chuckled and insisted that he was over it and that all was forgiven.

 

"Evan, I'm sorry too. I should not have lied, to you or Connor. I'm sorry and I have learned my lesson. I will never do that again." 

Evan also took the apology. 

 

They ate again with the radio playing and Evan lightly humming along. It was as though the tension had never existed. 

Jared also decided to talk about everything. He told them about his parents, his addiction, and even his sexuality (although he didn't mention how he was totally in love with them). 

 

They had both been supportive and Jared felt as though they were a lot closer then they had been previously. Although Jared did not share his insecurities nor what had gone down at the party with those awful people, (something he was it sure if he'd be ever ready to talk about) he had opened up a lot as well on his life.

 

 

When they arrived back at Sunshine Rainbow Rehab Centre, Jared sat at down with a couple of counselors. He admitted to a counselor that he had been drugs and alcohol at the "birthday party" but informed them that he had not done either. 

The counselors had been proud and informed him before he headed to bed that the next morning they were going to have group therapy and, that he was on duty to help make breakfast with Evan. 

 

 

Jared thanked them for the reminder and got ready for bed. 

 

Instead of laying in silence until he fell asleep, he and Connor talked until they passed out. 

Jared went to bed feeling the happiest he had ever felt since he had come to rehab.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are welcomed :D


	7. I wanna swing from the Chandelier, Chandelier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan get into another fight and Jared is stuck in between.  
> What can Jared do?  
> Also, longer chapter than usual!

 

 

As the week started, Jared felt closer to Evan and Connor than he ever had with anyone.

Monday and Tuesday had quickly gone by and it was finally Wednesday. 

The cast list was to be posted at the end of the day on the drama room's door.

Connor was fidgety all through the school day.

 

When the final bell rang, Connor, Evan, and Jared raced to the drama room together. When they got there, a bunch of people where surrounding the door. Connor could see over the crowd (goddamn he was so tall) and gasp.

 

" D-did you get in?" Evan asked cautiously. 

" I-I got Oliver.."

Connor was shaking and Jared was not sure if he was going to cry or not. Jared knew (from the name of the show duh) that Oliver was the main character and was confused as to why Connor looked as though he was going to break down.

 

Evan pulled Connor into a hug and mouthed to Jared

“Give him a minute.”

 

When they pulled apart Connor took a second before he spoke.

“ I-I never thought that I of all people would...get this…”

“Connor, you are an a-amazing singer and you d-deserve this s-so much.” Evan quickly reassured without missing a beat.  

  
“ Thanks, Ev but, I never thought they would cast _me_.”

 

"Why won't they?" Jared asked.

" Well, they know my  _history_ and I assumed that they would not want me in the show. Plus everyone there was so much more talented.." 

Jared and Evan sighed in sync.

"Connor, your kidding right?" Jared asked crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

"They want you because they  _know_ you've got talent. I'm proud of you." Evan kissed Connor's cheek to which Connor responded with kissing him back.

Jared hated to admit it but it was adorable.

 

"AWWWWW THE TREE BOYS ARE SO CUTE!"  Jared cooed obnoxiously loud. 

Evan and Connor flushed and pulled apart.

"Tree boys?" Connor asked eyebrow raised.

 

"Tree boys," Jared said nodding in confirmation. 

Connor shoved Jared playfully. 

 

Before they went to the front of the school,  Jared quickly ran to the bathroom. When he returned Connor and Evan were clearly angry at one another. It was the same feeling that Jared had gotten when they had been in front of the party.

"Hey, Jared, Lets head out."  Evan forced out his voice through clenched teeth and Connor said nothing at all.

Jared tried to act as though he didn't notice.  

It was clear that whatever happened, it was bad...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Later that night, everyone in "Sunshine Rainbow Rehabilitation Centre " all sat in a circle. 

Jared sat next to Evan and Connor awkwardly. The tension was clear and uncomfortable.  Connor and Evan both had their hands crossed and neither looked at the other. 

 

_What even happened?_

 

"Alright, everyone. Today we want to do a check in with everyone. When the talking piece gets to you I want you to share a thorn and a rose."

 

It took Jared a while to remember that the thorn was something bad that happened and the rose was something good.  

 

As it got passed around the circle it got to Jared. 

" My rose is that one of my BFFs got the lead in the school musical. I am very proud of him. "

People in the circle smiled at Connor, all of them were aware of the big news. Connor just stared at the floor hard. 

 

Jared felt himself flinch a little at that but continued on.

"My thorn is that...I haven't talked to my parents since I came here."

Jared suddenly felt all of the eyes in the room staring at him. He directed his gazes down at the talking piece. It was a brownstone with the words "Empathy" carved into it with gold lettering. It was quite pretty.

"They haven't ever really been there for me so I don't know why I am so surprised. I guess I could blame it on myself. I haven't tried calling them but, it's not like they really have either. I don't know it just has been...difficult."

 

Jared handed over the talking piece to Connor.

 

" My rose is that I got the part. My thorn is that my boyfriend is making a big deal out of nothing." Connor shoved the talking piece into Evan's hands violently. 

Evan stayed staring at Connor. Jared knew that this was not going to be good. And then Evan began to let the chaos loose. 

 

" M-my goddamn rose is that I-i haven't touched any substance for almost 3-3 months now. M-My Thorn is that my f-fucking boyfriend is not b-being a good boyfriend. For o-one, he makes our p-problem everyone problem and t-then he expects me to d-drop something that is r-really bad and doesn't get that I-I am just worried about h-him."

 

"Worried huh? You are always worried about EVERYTHING aren't you?" Connor asked cutting Evan off. 

"H-how could you not g-get it? How can you be s-so dumb? This is n-not funny C-Connor!" Evan looked at the edge of tears. 

 

"Well, at least I told my parents were dating. Your just so ashamed of me aren't you!" Connor stood up now, knocking the chair on the ground.

" H-how could you t-turn that a-against me? I-I told you that I w-was not ready." 

"Whatever, you used to be so much more fun."

 

Silence. You could hear a pin drop, Jared was sure.

 

"F-fun? When I was drunk as f-fuck and high a-as a goddamn k-kite? How c-could you? " Evan stood up now as well, tears now flowed from his eyes. 

"Whatever."

 

Evan now was full on crying. 

" I can't believe this. " Evan said in a small voice. Jared looked up at them and felt surprised.

  _What?_  

 

" After all of this, I'm not even going to say a thing. I'm happy that at least  _one_ of us is still here for the other." Evan said before he left the circle and went up the stairs to his room.

Everyone sat in silence and heard the door on Evan's room close. 

Connor then also stormed upstairs and slammed his own door. 

A counselor then followed up the stairs. 

 

After a while, only Evan showed up to dinner. His eyes were bloodshot and he didn't speak at all. 

By the end of dinner, Evan had rushed back into his room.

 

After Jared finished cleaning the dishes he made his way upstairs. He knew he had to help.

 

Jared walked down to his room, the words that Connor and Evan had said still were echoing in his head. 

It was crazy for Jared to even  _imagine_ such a perfect couple getting into a fight but to be living it was something else. As he got closer to the door he heard Connor singing. That caught Jared off guard nonetheless, he continued his way. As he got closer, he could make out the words. 

 

_"Sorry I don't treat you like a god. Is that what you want me to do?  Sorry I don't treat you like your perfect like all your little loyal subjects do.~"_

 

Jared opened his door and saw Connor sitting on his bed with a guitar singing.

 

_"Sorry I'm not made of sugar, am I not sweet enough for you? Is that why you always avoid me? I must be such an inconvenience to you~ "_

 

Connor had not noticed Jared in the doorway and continued on singing. Jared recognizes the song from somewhere although he couldn't quite place it. 

 

" _Well, I'm just your problem. I'm just your problem. It's like I'm not even a person am I? And you know, I'm just your problem ~"_

 

Connor then looked up from his guitar and at Jared. He gave Jared a glare and Jared backed out of the room, getting the message that Connor wanted him to leave. Before he did, however, he spoke. "You messed up Connor, big time. You need to apologize to him, he was just trying to help you out. He loves you and you know that, so talk to him. " 

Before Connor could say anything, Jared left. 

He then made his way to Evan's room and cautiously knocked. 

He heard a small "Come in." and opened the door.

When he did he saw Evan in a blanket burrito on his bead.

 

As Jared looked around he was shocked to see the number of plants Evan had. He also noticed the many picture frames on Evan's dresser, many of which contained pictures of Connor and who, Jared was assuming to be, his mom.

 

"Ev, are you okay?" Jared asked as he walked int the room and sat he the edge of his bead. 

Jared was relieved that Evan's roommate had left Evan alone. 

"I-i don't know. I'm mad, r-really mad a-at Connor." 

"He did say some assholy things. But I know he didn't mean it. He just is a jerk when he wants to push people away." Jared lightly patted Evan threw the blanket and Evan shifted till his head poked out. 

"I know I-it's just.l, I'm s-so tired of having to b-be the one to deal with it. I-I love him but he can j-just be s-so difficult at times."

"What happened?" 

 

"He um...g-got into a fight  w-with his parents a-and then with Z-Zoe."

" And now you huh?" Jared asked. Evan frowned and whipped his nose with his hand. 

" He um...t-told me about it w-when you were in the b-bathroom. I-I had told him that h-he should call his parents t-to let them know and he t-told me that they were in a fight. A-and when I asked about I-it he just got r-really defensive and a-asked me why I e-even cared. And things just um...f-fell apart from t-there..."

 

Jared pulled Evan into a hug and Evan just cried into his chest. 

"He was d-doing so well and he d-didn't  even tell me anything." Evan sobbed. 

" What do you mean?"

"He also c-cut himself again..."

 

Jared froze and Evan continued to cry hard. 

"He m-made me promise n-not to tell anyone and I-I refused. I-I need to tell Mr. Nell. "

Evan began to leave the blanket burrito and began to make it to the door. 

"Evan, do you want me to come?" 

Evan nodded and waited for Jared to join him. 

 

In Mr. Nell's office, Jared found himself mostly telling the story himself with Evan piping in on details. Mr. Nell thanked them and sent another councilor to get Connor. 

They both left with a sense of relief and worry.

 

He ended up sleeping on Evan's floor that night. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The next morning, Jared, Evan, and Connor all waited outside the house for the counselor to bring the car upfront. 

Connor was the first to speak.

 

"Evan I'm.....I'm so sorry. For everything, I did and said. I love you so much and I can't believe the awful things I said to you. None of it was true. I know you are not ashamed and I know you love me and do so much for me and only are looking out for me. You didn't derisive that from me and I am really sorry. "

Connor looked at Evan with a lot of regret in his eyes. 

 

" I j- just care about y-you okay? I-I don't want to see you g-get hurt. And yes, you said many m-mean things but, so did I. C-can you promise to try to do the new treatment and therapy?" 

Connor nodded.

"I will. And I'm so sorry. "

 

They pulled one another into a hug and a kiss. Jared couldn't help but feel satisfied that he had helped them out. 

 

"And thank you, Jared. For helping me come to my senses." Connor said with a smile.

They both pulled Jared into a hug and Jared felt a smile pull on his lips.

He loved these boys.

Even if he couldn't have them.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included "I'm just your problem." because  
> 1: I started to get into Adventure time  
> 2\. I think this song is amazing.  
> 3\. And I think it fits Connor in that situation kinda. 
> 
>    
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYKRR_lc0Qw
> 
> I promise that the Jared/Connor/Evan will finally get its life sorted out.  
>  
> 
> Thank you SO much for reading!  
> Kudos and Comments are Welcome :D


	8. I wanna live like tomorrow doesn't exist. Like it doesn't exist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared confesses to Connor what happend when he was at the party. Several confessions are made.

 

Connor was more distant with Jared now.

Jared didn't blame Connor for it at all. 

 

Connor was always busy and honestly, it was a miracle that Connor still even had time for Evan.

Connor was out late every weekday until 6:15-ish due to musical practice. He then would have extra counseling (due to his self-harming again) and then he proceeded to either A) Go to sleep or B) Stay up late to work on homework. 

 

Jared knew that it was probably weird that he knew Connor's schedule but how could he not notice? Their room was empty and lonely now and Jared couldn't stand it. It reminded him too much of his parent's house. 

 

Jared had begun to play music when being in the room to help fill the space and he found that it really did work. After all, it had worked in the past. 

 

 

Evan seemed scarce as well. Although Jared didn't know what Evan was up to he did know that Evan would always be too busy to talk or hang out with him.

 

It was at that point that Jared realized that he didn't have any other friends in the house. 

He always had depended on Connor and Evan and he didn't know what to do with himself. 

 

After that revelation, Jared fell back into what probably wasn't a healthy habit.

He began to work himself to death. 

 

Jared made sure to complete every homework assignment and class project on the night it was assigned. He made sure to study for hours and wouldn't pass out until 2 or 3 am.  He was really lucky when he did at 12. 

 

Some nights Connor would join him. This, however, was just them sitting across the room from each other on their laptops silently. Connor always made sure to go to sleep before or at 12 which would usually leave Jared awake and alone for the rest of the night. 

 

Something good that did come out of it was that Jared's grades and quiz scores were increasing by a lot. It felt very relieving to get back to where he had been academically before he had become addicted. It took a lot of work but it feels so good. 

 

He only started to slow down once Connor made a comment on his habit. 

 

It had been a Wednesday night and Jared, as usual, was planning on staying up late. It had been around 8:15 when Connor leaned on their doorframe. 

 

"You're at it again huh?" 

"Yeah, sure am. I gotta get this science sheet complete for Monday."

"Monday next week or next year?" Connor asked teasingly. 

"You got me, Murphy." Jared chuckled. Although he expected Connor to walk away, he didn't.

 

"So um...what can I help you with?" Jared asked feeling a tad awkward as the sudden silence.

"Oh right! I was thinking of going and watching Voltron, do you maybe wanna join me?" Jared glanced up at Connor who was drumming his fingers in a steady tempo on the door frame. 

"I would love to but I'm just so swamped."

"Oh come on! Take a break, you need it." Connor faked whined with a smile lightly grazing his lips. 

 

" _Fine."_ Jared groaned in false exasperation. 

 

"So, Evan didn't want to watch?" Jared asked one the began to settle down on the couch. 

"Nah, he said that he has too much homework and to probably ask you." 

"Cool."

 

As Keith and Lance began to bicker on screen, Jared's thoughts drifted back to the party. He had been avoiding from thinking about it and had been pushing himself not to think about it and work instead. He thought about their cruel smiles and words. 

He hated himself. 

He was too loud.

Too obnoxious

Too stupid

Too selfish

 

Selfish

 

Jared hated that word. 

 

He knew he was selfish. He was SO selfish that he loved two people at the same time. Two people that were together nonetheless. 

Why couldn't it just be easier?

 

"Connor?

"Hm?"

"Could I...Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure." 

 

Connor paused the show and turned, giving Jared his full attention. Jared shifted, suddenly feeling more out of place then he had previously felt. 

 

"Something happened at the party.

"I kinda figured," Connor admitted.

 

Jared pushed up his glasses and shrieked more into the hoodie that he was wearing. He was more conscious of his body now as he sat in front of Connor's eyes vulnerable.

 

Connor raised an eyebrow at Jared's motion.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

 

_Damn, he sounds just like a counselor._

 

"I was..surrounded by temptation. everywhere I turned it was just..there.  Didn't notice it before and I was just so overwhelming. I don't know why I made you and Evan go, I'm still really sorry. "

 

"I know. It's okay."

 

" I was just SO sure that I could do it. That was such stupid thing do."

"Jared, you wanted to take a step. I get that. In the end, you didn't fall into temptation and do anything and that itself is a big accomplishment. "

 

"Okay, I'll take it."

"So?"

"So, I was sober and heard things that I should not have."

"What do you mean?"

 

Connor began to bounce his leg and Jared wondered if was intentional or not.

"I was trying to go to a quiet place to call you there was this group of people in the all way. They were talking about me."

 

The quiet buzz of air condition and distant chatter of others in the house surrounded them. Connor was still quiet, clearly wanting Jared to continue and so he did.

 

Jared told Connor everything. And by everything, Jared meant everything. 

He told him about his insecurities and his ex-friends and what he had heard being said about him. He even confessed that he was overworking himself not to think about it. By the end of it. It was 10 pm and Jared was exhausted from crying and talking and he just wanted to sleep. 

 

Connor held him close and Jared was grateful. 

The dam had broken and everything was spilled out...all except one thing...

Jared hadn't notice Evan enter the room until he felt another weight being added to the couch. He didn't know howling Evan had been in the room but he did know that Evan had heard most of him. 

 

Evan wrapped his arms around Jared as well and he felt not as broken. 

They both whispered comforting words and just held him.

 

Jared felt so happy. 

 

To end the night, Connor and Evan told Jared about some of their funny childhood stories. Jared had gone to bed earlier than he had in a month and he woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. Still tired but...a little less.

 

Connor began to become more present and it wasn't long until Connors schedule was adjusted to.

Spending time with Alana and Zoe was also cool.  

They were just a fun bunch to be around.

 

On A Friday night, Jared found himself in His and Connor's shared room with Evan and Connor. They, like middle schoolers, were playing truth or dare. Thanks to Connor and Evan suggesting it.   

 

"Evan, truth or dare?" Jared asked with a grin.

"T-truth."

Jared groaned. "Come on! That's the boring one!"

Evan shrugged and Jared tapped his chin in thought.

 

"Have you ever had sex with Connor?"

 

Evan and Connor's faces both turned bright red.  

"Y-yeah..."

Evan said, blush getting deeper.

 

"Oh damn, what kinda kinky shit are you two into?" 

 

Connor shoved Jared not hard, but just enough to make him move to the side. 

"Jared, oh my god stop."

 

Jared cackled.

 

"C-connor, truth or d-dare?"

"Truth."

"Come on! You two are SO boring!"

 

 "Have you e-ever thought of b-being in a polyamorous r-relationship?"

Jared raised an eyebrow. 

Where had That come from?

 

"Yes, I have."

"Me t-too." Evan said before Connor asked Evan, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do you ever think about dating someone that we know?"

"Yes I-I have. Jared, t-truth or dare?" 

 

Jared's head was spinning.

What was even happening?

 

"Dare." 

" I dare y-you to steal all o-of the spoons f-from the kitchen a-and bring them b-back here."

 

Jared got up and walked out of the room and down the stairs. it wasn't long until he returned with the spoons and placed them I front of Evan.

"Connor, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Are you and Evan up to something?"

"Yes. Evan, truth or dare?" 

"Dare. "

"I dare you to tell Jared what's happening."

 

"O-okay. Jared, me and C-Connor wanted t-to talk to y-you about something that h-has been on our m-minds for a while n-now. We k-know that you are p-pansexual and we, the three of us a-are friends. But um...me and Connor really like you..like really really like you. W-we talked about it and well, we wanted to know I-if you would maybe b-be interested in having a relationship w-with both of us."

 

Jared froze. 

"Wait, hold on...you both like me?"

"Yes. We know it's a lot to take in but we just felt like we should let you know and see if maybe you felt the same." Connor said, speaking up.

 

"I mean, fuck yeah, I do like you two. But I never thought that you would like me."

"Of course we d-do Jared. Y-your amazing." 

Jared felt like he just died and went to heaven. 

 

"We know it's a lot to take in and you are totally allowed to think it over and take as long as you need to sort it out."

 

"No no no no no no. I feel the same, I really do like both of you I just..,I am so baffled and happy and flattered that you two want to open your relationship for one more.."

 

Connor and Evan smiled and each pressed a kiss to Jared's cheek. 

"So, is it official? Are we all dating?" 

Jared could hear the anxiousness in Connor's voice and Jared found it funny that he was nervous. 

"Yes. I'm on board 100%" 

"Me too."

"Me three."

 

The three of them all smiled like dorks. 

 

"Wait, did you two just make us play this game so you could confess?"

"Yup."

 

"Wow, you two are so adorable."

Jared didn't know what was to come. But he just knew that he couldn't wait.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, they did make Jared play truth or dare just so they could tell him. Idk it seemed like a good idea.  
> I also am SO sorry if anything is spelled wrong or grammatically incorrect I didn't really get to look is over and I am really sorry. 
> 
> Also, Thank you all SO much for 1000 hits! This means so much to me :D
> 
> Thank you SO much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are Welcomed :D


	9. I'm gonna fly like a bird through the sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when things are looking up, someone decides to waltz into Jared's life again.  
> Thank god Jared now has two amazing boyfriends to help him feel better.
> 
> I warn that Jared has a self hate moment in this.

 

 

Weekly movie nights quickly became a thing.

Every Friday or weekend night (sometimes both) was spent watching whatever movie looked interesting on Netflix. All while lying on one another and stuffing snacks down, they all snuggled up together and enjoyed each others company. 

 

Being with them made Jared happy. Jared had began to not be as high strung about completing work and tried to relax. Connor and Evan had encouraged him to go to a counselor about his habit and he had.

Through talking he tried to find a way to occupy himself. He decided on journaling. 

It had sounded pretty dumb but after much  consideration, Jared had decided that it was a good option.

 

He had decided to start journaling in an old fancy notebook  he had received for his birthday years ago but never used. It was fake leather with the image of an infinity sign. At he bottom of the sign, the words "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but In ourselves."

According to Connor, it was a Shakespeare quote.

 

Jared spent the first couple of entrees catching it up with his life story. After that, he found himself writing about his parents.

They both had always been really cold and distant. 

He barely ever saw them and whenever he did it was never a good experience.

They always expected the best and screamed when it was anything less. Jared still didn't forgive them.

The date of Connor's show was slowly creeping closer and Jared found himself helping Connor with lines (not that he minded!) and Evan would sometimes as well. 

Connors parents were coming to the show and he hadn't seen them since they had dropped him off at rehab. So, their last interaction hadn't been so great. 

 

Both he and Jared hadn't talk to their parents since day 1 at rehab. Evan however, was a different story.

 

He and his mom were actually really tight. 

They constantly talked and texted and recently she showed up and took him out for a while with counselor permission. 

 

Heidi Hansen was a sweet women. 

It was surprising for Jared when she quickly accepted Evan, Connor, and his relationship. 

She had quickly hugged Connor and proclaimed how happy she was to see him again before she pulled Jared into a hug and introduced herself as Hedi. 

 

It was clear to see the guilting Connor's face and Jared didn't blame him. 

According to Connor, he had been the one to get Evan there in the first place. He was the one who had fucked up Evan's life forever. 

 

Although Evan had told Connor on numerous occasions that it wasn't hid fault, it was clear that Connor didn't believe him. 

It was Friday night and Heidi had took Evan out a couple of hours ago. Evan had yet to come back to the house. Connor also had yet to come home from play practice. Jared had already finished his homework for the week and scrolling threw his phone when he heard the houses bell ring. 

 

Jared didn't think much of it and continued on until he heard a knock at his door. 

 He shut his phone off and let it drop to his side to the bed. He flipped out of bed and made it to the door. When he opened the door he was face to face with a counselor.  He smiled before speaking to Jared.

"Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you have a visitor." 

 

Jared raised an eyebrow. 

_What the heck?_

 

"Okay....." 

 

Jared let himself be guided by the counselor to the "living room" area. When he got there however, he was faced with two people he hoped to never see again. 

On one of the sofas, there sat his mom and dad. 

 

"Nope. " Jared tried to turn and leave the room but the counselor stopped him. 

" Your parents are here to see you, seeing as now you are allowed to have visitors." Jared bit his bottom lip and realized there was no way he would be able to get away. He didn't meet either of his parent's eyes as he plopped down on a chair a good distance away from them. 

This wasn't going to end well.

 

 

" So....how is everything going?" 

 

Jared glared at his mother and crossed his arms. 

Oh fuck no.

 

"Pretty good, considering the fact that you forced me here and don't give a shit about it." 

The counselor and parents reaction was almost too funny. They all looked bewildered. 

"Jared?" 

"Why the fuck are you here? What do you want?" Jared let his anger out full force. He no longer held anything back. 

"We just wanted to see you. You um..didn't call or text and we were worried." 

"Worried? Yeah right." 

His father became visibly angry and stood up.

"We are your parent's, we just want to make sure your okay." Jared found himself also standing. What even gave them the right to show up? They just did whatever they wanted and he no regard for how he was feeling. They just threw him every which way and didn't care about him. They were the ones that made him this way. They were the ones that ruined him. 

 

"Yeah okay. I'm totally fine. Is that what you wanted to hear? That everything is just fine and that i'm still not the fucked up child you created? You don't care about me."

"What? Honey we do care about you. We sent you here because we were worried."

"Worried? You just..." Jared felt himself choke on his words and took the moment to scan the situation. Both is parents were standing and the counselor was staring at them wide eyed. Jared shrank back into himself. 

"C-can I leave? I can't do this." 

 

The counselor nodded quickly and Jared turned and left the room. 

His heart thudded in his ears. He fell into his bed and felt a wave of emotion wash over him. 

The thoughts of his parents and classmates filled his head. 

He allowed himself to let it consume him. 

He was worthless

No one loved him.

 

He was stuck. 

 

_\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

 

 

Connor and Evan had been totally supportive of Jared when he told them about his parent's visit. 

They had gotten permission to take Jared out on a date. That was how Jared found himself sitting shotgun listening to Panic at the Disco in Connor's car. 

Both Connor and Evan sang loudly and Jared felt warmth in his chest as he looked at the two of them.  It was a little into the afternoon and Jared found it funny when Nine in the Afternoon played. 

The date stared with Connor and Evan taking him to a coffee shop in which they talked about dumb childhood stories. 

Apparently Connor loved to make "Why does the chicken cross the road?" jokes and they all ended in such a dumb and hilarious way.

Evan apparently had a "pet" caterpillar and when he woke up one morning to it in a cocoon he had cried, thinking it was dead. Hedi had to explain that it was going to become a butterfly but Evan had insisted on burying it.  Jared had been relieved to hear that Hedi hadn't really buried it but instead had kept it and let the caterpillar go when it had turned into a butterfly. 

 

After the coffee shop they took him to an orchard and they had a fun time picking apples until the sunset. At sunset they sat on the roof of Connor's car and watched it turn to night, all while cuddled together. 

After, they found themselves at Outback SteakHouse where Jared ate all of the bread. They talked the whole meal and for once, Jared didn't feel like a third wheel. He felt as though he were really apart of the group. 

Jared was great full that they didn't bring up his parents since he wasn't ready to talk about it quite yet. Connor and Evan had been so sweet the whole day and Jared was so happy that they liked him too. 

 

When they were done eating they stopped at a Target where they grabbed big bags of popcorn and lemonade before going back to the house. 

Since the living room was being used, they watched Mean Girls in Jared and Connor's room in each others arms. They laughed and had a good time. 

When the movie was done, Jared found himself dozing with a sleeping Evan on his right. Connor somehow managed to fit the three of them into his bed and Jared allowed himself to sleep. He warmth from Connor and Evan soothing him. 

 

There was no where else he'd rather be.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The choir I am apart of is currently learning "You will be found" and I am SO happy!
> 
> Also, I got a tumblr! (if your interestd)  
> https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you SO much for reading!!


	10. Feel my tears as they dry

 

 

Opening night had come a lot faster than Jared had expected.

 

Connor was a ball of nervous energy that morning. He had inhaled his food at the table and refused the milk, saying that “It would mess up his voice.” He instead, drank Aloe Vera juice. According to Connor it helped un-strain vocal cords and helped with energy and was really healthy.

Jared had tried some and he would admit that that shit was good.

 

He and Evan had bought tickets for all four of Connor’s shows and were excited to see the show.

 

When they had been dropped off at school the three of them holding hands through the hallway. Evan and Connor had walked Jared to class before heading over to their own homeroom. They had both given him a quick kiss before bidding him farewell.

Jared knew that he was smiling like a fool that period.

 

At lunch, Connor and Zoe had been absent. They both had to do a couple of things during that period to sell more tickets for their show. The lunch table had not been any less loud, Evan and Zoe both talking about their upcoming APUSH final and himself occasionally piping in to complain as well.

 

Jared's old friends hadn’t been too much of a problem anymore. They were afraid of Alana and Connor and it was clear that they knew that messing with him would mean messing with them. For one, Alana was student body president and would most likely go to the board of education to get them kicked out. Connor...Connor was just scary…

 

After school, the counselor picked up Jared and Evan and took them back to the house. Connor of course, stayed behind at school until the show.  

Once in his room, Jared changed out of his smelly clothing (Hey! He had gym earlier!) and into new clothing. He changed into skinny jeans and a Loki shirt.

He studied himself in the mirror in the inside of his closet door and couldn’t help but frown.

 

He hated the way his stomach and thighs looked. He decided that it looked bad.

He looked ugly.

He looked fat.

 

He sighed and tried to clear his head.

 

_No. I look good._

_I am good enough_

_I do look nice_

_I am strong and brave_

_I am perfectly amazing just the way I am._

 

After he had told Connor and Evan about his insecurities, they had begun to take every opportunity to compliment him more and be more affectionate. Jared didn’t mind the attention at all, he did, however, know that he needed to remember how much they loved him.

That they loved him for the way that he was.

Potty mouth and stretch marks included. 

They also had both in encouraged him to talk about his problems during his one on one conversations with his councilor and had taken their advice. Sure enough, the counselor was really supportive and also helped him work through his insecurities.

Helped him realize that he was perfect the way he was. 

And although it was still hard at times, things really had been improving for Jared. 

 

He made his way to the living area where the scheduled group circle was and joined in, sitting next to Evan.

 

“Alright everyone, thank you all for being on time. Today we have a subject of discussion. Today we are going to talk about family and what it means to each of us. Family plays some kind of role in recovery and we will be talking about this today. Let’s start with Connie.”

Jared sat there and listened to everyone talk. After hearing about family bonding and acceptance, the talking piece made it to Jared. He looked down at the cement statue of a horse. It was poorly painted and looked like a 5-year-old had painted it. Mostly because it had been painted by one.

He was pretty sure that it was Carol, the girl sitting across the circle from him, that has brought him as her talking piece for the group a couple months back. Either Carol or Logan.

 

“I’m going to be honest and say that my parents and I don’t talk to each other. It’s not like they hate me, it’s just that they haven’t really been there for me. And I don’t know how to forgive them, they are making it really had for me too. I don’t know how our relationship will be mended but I do know that we will have to see each other again. And that when we do, we will obviously talk. So until then, I need to think it through…”

 

At the end of the circle, there was still some time until he and Evan needed to go and get Connor’s flowers before the show. Jared decided to go back to his room. Evan had said that he was going to change and that was mostly the reason why he fell back onto his bed.

 

He scrolled through his phone for a while and he found himself staring at the “Home” contact in his contact list. His finger hovered over it for a while until he clicked back onto the home screen.

He wasn’t ready quite yet.

 

He spent the rest of the time on Tumblr until he heard a knock on his door frame.

“Y-You look nice J-Jare.”

“Awe thanks pinecone, you also look quite beautiful tonight.”

 

Evan was wearing khakis and one of Connor’s band shirts.

Evan giggled at Jared before entering the room further. He dropped his arms around Jard and planted a kiss on his cheek.

 

“T-Thank you.” They shared another kiss.

“M-Mr. Leon said t-that he is ready to g-go when we a-are. Are y-you ready y-yet?” Jared intertwined their hands and nodded.

 

“Let’s go!”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jared and Evan both sat in the back of the car The trip was filled with chatter from all three of them.

Jared was trying to make more of an effort.

They all soon enough arrived at the flower shop where he and Evan had order Connor’s flowers a couple of weeks back. Online of course.

 

The shop smelled amazing and looked so beautiful.

 

An employ sat at the front desk. They greeted the three of them and cheerfully asked what they could help them with.

 

"W-we are h-here for pick u-up. It should b-be under the n-name Connor M-Murphy." 

 

The employ headed to the back and sure enough came back holding a dozen long stemmed red roses. 

 

According to Evan, it had been a tradition in Connor's family. Since Connor had been in a theater as a kid, his parents had made the decision to buy him long steamed red roses whenever he got a lead or main character. And my god, those roses were hard to find. Jared and Evan had looked around online for a long time until they had finally found this place, it was out of the way but was the closest store that had them. 

 

Jared insisted on paying for them and they headed out to school, the box of flowers in the seat between him and Evan. 

 

The three of them arrive pretty early, so there were not a lot of people in line. 

They stood in the line for a while until Zoe (a member of stage crew) went around and ripped tickets. Evan spent the time re-telling the story to Mr. Leon, and Jared found himself also contributing. 

When the doors finally opened, they all managed to get seats that were front and middle. At open seating, it was every man for himself.

 

The lights began to dim after everyone was seated. Jared and Evan intertwined their hands. 

 

The show was amazing. After every scene or song Connor was in, Jared and Evan applauded loudly. Connor sang so well and stayed in character the whole time, even when there were some weird pauses. Hearing Connor sing again was just its own magical experience.  No one on the cast, in Jared's opinion, could compare to Connor. 

The show had been full of so much drama and suspense that Jared had been captivated, despite the fact that he had already read the script for at least a dozen times. 

 

 

Curtain call had been its own form of madness. The audience had exploded when Connor came out onto the stage. Jared and Evan even standing while clapping and whooping. 

Connor made eye contact with them after he bowed and gave them a bright smile before joining the rest of the cast in the everyone bow. 

 

After the curtain call, the lights came back on and people began to make their way out of the theater. 

"I am speechless. It was so amazing!" Jared beamed. Evan chuckled and nodded. "Every y-year, the shows s-seem to g-get better and b-better." 

Jared brought Evan's hand to his lips and kissed it. Evan smiled and placed a kiss on Jared's cheek. Jared felt warm all over. 

 

"D-did you see l-last years m-musical?" 

Jared shook his head. He had never been out of the house without going somewhere that involved drugs or alcohol.

A year ago, he would have never imagined going to see a school performance.

The old him would have thought that it was pointless and dumb. 

 

Jared now, however, was so blown away. He was really happy that he would see the show another 3 times. 

 

As Mr. Leon, Evan, and Jared, all left the auditorium, Evan directed them to a side door in the lobby of the school. 

It was already surrounded by people.

 

"Why is everyone waiting around here?" Jared asked as they stood as close as they could to the door.

"The c-cast comes out t-through this d-door. S-so, everyone waits f-for them o-out here." 

They only had to wait about 10 minutes before the door opened. 

The cast came pouring through the door, Connor among them. 

 

Before they could get to Connor however, he was bombarded by other people. 

Jared was not surprised, Connor did play the lead after all..Very well he would add...

 

Once Connor did manage to break free from the people there, he quickly spotted Jared and Evan.

"Heyyyy!" He said sliding over to them. Jared felt a stupid smile consume his face. 

 

"Hey Mr. Star! I will say that that performance was absolutely amazing." Jared said, pulling both Connor and Evan into a hug.

"Thank you!" 

"S-seriously though C-Connor...You w-were phenomenal." Evan said, kissing Connor straight on. 

They all giggled like idiots. They then handed Connor his long stemmed red roses. A look of shock filled Connor's face. It was quickly replaced with a wide smile and watering eyes. "You guys! You shouldn't have!" Connor exclaimed, taking the flowers and smelling them. He looked completely elated. 

Connor pulled the two of them into a hug. "Thank you. This really means a lot!" He said, speaking softly.

 

 

They all stayed in their hugging circle, giving Connor their praise and kisses until someone cleared their throat.

They all pulled apart and turned around to see a woman with short red hair with a small smile and a man with white hair with a frown. 

Jared realized that they were Connor's parents. He could easily see the comparison between him and his mom. For his dad, it took a moment for any resemblance to set in.

 

He felt both Connor and Evan stiffen next to him. That was not a good sign. 

 

" Hey! Connor that was an outstanding performance." Connor's mom commented, smiling shyly. 

"Thanks." Connor didn't seem particularly upset to see his parents. He did seem awkward though.

 

" You have always had such amazing talent." his dad commented awkwardly.

" Thank you."

 

They all stood there for a moment in silence, the only noise being the crowd around them. 

 

" Mom, dad, I am sure that you remember Evan, my boyfriend." 

Connor's mom nodded with a smile. " Yes of course we do. It's so good to see you again." Mrs. Murphy said smiling brightly at Evan. 

Evan smiled back and fiddled with the hem of Connor's MCR shirt. Connor's dad simply nodded. 

 

Connor shifted the flowers. " And well..this is my other boyfriend Jared." 

 

Jared felt unsteady under the eyes of Connor's parents as they looked at him. 

" Yes of course. We've heard so much about you. Zoe really is a fan of yours." 

 

Jared flushed and smiled. 

"Aww, how sweet. I told you that I was her favorite." Jared said, leaning back onto Connor. 

Connor and Evan rolled their eyes playfully. 

 " We were wondering if maybe you and...your boyfriends would like to join Your dad, Zoe and I for a victory dinner?" Connor's mom asked, still in good spirits.

 

"I would love to. " Connor replied easily before squeezing Evan and Jared's hands. 

"Do you want to come as well?"

Jared smiled brightly "Of course Mrs. Murphy I would feel honored to but we, of course, have to check with our counselor." Jared said with a slightly teasing tone. Evan also agreed to go as well and with the permission of their counselor (him of course required to come along) they were on their way.

 

* * *

 

Dinner (surprisingly enough) had gone by rather smoothly. Mr.Murphy was even being more polite and it was clear to Jared that they really were trying to show their son acceptance. 

 

At the end of the night, all three of them laid snuggled up on Connor's bed. 

 

"I f-feel like y-your parents don't l-like me..."  Evan said suddenly in the silence. 

"What?" Connor asked. "Why would you think that?"

Jared placed his hand on Evans back and began to soothingly rub it.

 

" I-I mean...I am k-kinda the reason w-why your h-here in the f-first place..."  Evan said looking down at the rug below the bed. 

"Evan..you seriously can't blame yourself for that. It wasn't your fault. We both were crazy and you can't place all that we did as your fault. I don't know what I would do without you. You honestly have been such a big support to me from day one of being sober and my parents know that. They don't hate you Ev.."

"T-Thank you for saying that Connor, I love you."

"I love you too. I also love you Jare."

 

"Love you too emo. I also love you, flower boy."

"Love you, t-too Jared," Evan said smiling brightly. 

 

 

 

 

After Evan went back to his room and Connor started snoring, Jared pulled out his phone.  

 

**To: Mom**

 

**Hey.**

 

 

**I am ready to talk now.**

 

 

**I know that it is pretty late and you probably won't see this but I want to let you know that I am willing to start over again.**

 

 

 

**Love you.**

 

 

 

Something about seeing Connor's parents interacting with Connor made Jared really think about his own parents. 

He was willing to move on.

 

After all, they had sent him to this gay (what it really did sound gay) rehab facility to help him. 

And without it, he would still be getting really drunk and high nearly every night. 

Without it, he would still be hanging around toxic people.

Without it, he would not have gained true friends. 

Without it, he would still have ad self-esteemed issues. 

Without it, he would never have met Evan or Connor. 

 

His parents really had been trying to help him out. 

 

He turned off his phone and laid on his side. As he drifted to sleep he knew that it would still be a long time until he could leave the house but he knew that he could do it. 

 

One day at a time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for sticking through till the end everyone.  
> I know that this took FOREVER to come out.  
> Also Happy (late) poly sexual day! And a happy pride mouth to all! 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you SO much for reading.  
> I really do appreciate all of the support <3
> 
>  
> 
> My tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think...would you like to see more??
> 
> Also this is based off of this song Chandelier by Sia :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wctHelpInEc  
> And off the show recovery road (a Freeform show that's really good and I totally recommend it) 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are welcomed. :)


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